Is it about me? No, it’s not.

I am constantly amazed by how God works and the fact that every once in a while He allows me a glimpse into the seemingly (to us) random ways He uses my life for His glory and His plan. 

October 30 was the year anniversary of my mom’s death. I had the day planned out for weeks in advance in emotional preperation. I was going to have breakfast with friends who had lost (both figuratively and literally) a parent, lunch with other good friends, leave work early to go with grandma to the cemetary and a quick dinner before flying to California. Whew. Busy, just as I planned. As is often the case, my plans did not go as I anticipated. 

Everything was right on schedule when I got to the airport. It had been a hard day but I was expecting it and dealing with it in the best way I knew how. So I check in, drop off my bags, and go to the security line. Why on this day, of all days, I got flagged to be patted down I have no idea. But I was and I was not happy about it. Personal space people! So I put forth an attitude of annoyance (I have that perfected) with the security guard and he does not like it one bit. He tells me to get another attitude and before I know it, I’m telling him that this is the year anniversary of my mother’s death and I’m just going to be in a bad mood. He tells me not to take it out on him (rudely) and I burst into tears. About this time the lady who has to pat me down is incredibly concerned about my tears. Having not heard the preceding conversation, she is very nice and finishes quickly. I go straight to the first empty corner I can find to gather myself together. 

I have been blessed with an insane number of amazing friends that I could call on at any moment of crisis so why I choose the friend I did was a total God thing. She is a friend I met in DC and we have both been though some grieving this past year. Although, I haven’t seen her in a few years and we don’t talk on a regular basis, grief has become a bond that has only brought us closer. So I called her, sitting in that corner of the Lubbock INTERNATIONAL Airport, to lean on. We talked about my day and then I stopped crying and we moved on to other subjects. Little did I know that God would use one measley little sentance of that conversation to alter the course of her life, for now. Don’t misunderstand me, she wasn’t being distructive, she’s a good girl. We were talking about jobs and what we wanted to ultimately do with our lives and something I said struck a cord.

So in the midst of my pain, God used my words to convey a message to another one of His children. Here I was, consummed with my own sadness, and God is changing lives. Wow. It truly isn’t about me, even when I make it about me. Thank you for that.