autumn

love it.  I mean, I really love it.  in a way that completely justifies the use of the overused word love.  it is my favorite time of year (although now it includes my least favorite day of the year).  in fact, I think someone should build a house that functions like a convertible – you know with a retractable top.  (i know it’s not very logical but since logical is no fun, i’m going to use that imagination thing.)  how cool would it be to just decide to sleep under the stars one night and push a button and VOILA! open roof.  i think office buildings should be the same way.  i would be much more productive with a little less fluorescent lighting and a lot more natural light (say to the tune of toby keith’s “little less talk and a lot more action”).  

question of the day: what job lets me work in a building with a retractable roof on it?

More rain . . .

I just want to clarify and say that while I do love the rain, I never (in 100 years) thought Lubbock (yes, Lubbock) would get over 8 inches of rain in a single 24 hour period.  Some years we wish we had that much rain all year!!!  Last night was nuts for a dry, dusty West Texas town.  And literally, it has not rained this much in 100 years!!! 

Here’s to curling up, reading, and getting work done on my computer — lazy and productive all at the same time!  yipee

Rain

I love rain.  It makes me want to be lazy and productive at the same time.  As much as I want to grab a soft blanket, curl up in front of the window, and get lost in a good book — I am energized.  Weird?  I think so too.  Why this love of rain?

- it smells so good and everything looks so fresh after a good rain! 

- It cools everything off (if it’s not humid) and I love that

- it generally means summer is either over or that we are getting a break from the heat during summer

- I clean.   I no idea why rain makes me want to clean and organize my life.

- puddle jumping.  One of my favorite memories is of my friend Marcie and I puddle jumping after a rain at her house.  We must have been 6 or 7-ish.  (mean Robin wouldn’t let her kids puddle jump after BSF yesterday!)

- Rain fills up the lakes for water skiing (one of the few saving graces that summer offers)

Now, to be fair there are few reasons why I don’t like rain.  (Although the positives outweigh the negatives)

- I’m short so my pants usually get wet if there is any amount of water on the sidewalks

- Friends have to evacuate their homes when it rains too much

- The farmers need hot and dry right now and they are getting wet and humid.  bad.

- Most people in Lubbock do not know how to drive in the rain but they do anyway

It’s been so long . . .

since cool weather and since I’ve written on this blog.  Can I just say . . . Fall is my favortite time of year, especially when there are campaigns abounding!  I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this but I love campaigns – the bigger, the better.  I can’t help myself.  Here are a few stories that might explain this addiction I have (and why my blog has been neglected . . . who can take time to write when there are conventions to watch?)

- While I do not remember this event, it has been told to me on many occasions, by various people.  As an infant I spent many a day in a campaign office, listening to people telephone for candidates.  Some infants go to sleep listening to lullaby’s, I apparently went to sleep listening to campaign speak.  Perhaps that explains why I have been falling asleep to a particular cable news station lately.  Hmm . . .

- Jump forward a few years and we have family exercise.  Most of us remember those special outings we had with our parents, either as a family or one-on-one.  Often, those include sporting events such as camping trips, lake trips, going to the mall (my mom and I both disdained shopping), or other similar activities.  For me, my mom and I walked blocks.  By walking blocks, I don’t mean we out for a stroll (although we did that too) but I mean we walked neighborhoods and handed out political information (before I was even able to vote). 

- The year was 1992 and I was in the 6th grade.  President George HW Bush and future President Bill Clinton were running for President.  President Bush 41 was running for re-election and I was an avid supporter.  A friend on my OM (Odessy of the Mind) team was an avid Clinton supporter.  Let me just say – recess can be ugly in elementary school.  Especially when arguing over the presidential candidates.  As I recall, my friend and I got into a debate (yes, 6th grade) and there was some hair pulling, name calling, maybe even a few girly slaps (ok, probably not slaps).  I do remember my green BASS shoes (anyone remember those?) coming off at one point though.   

- High school came and went and I managed to remain out of politics as best I could.  I had to maintain some cool factor back then.  Oh wait . . . that is not entirely true.  There was one guy in high school who liked to bait me on political issues and at the time I ALWAYS took the bait.  I couldn’t help it.  And I did go to Houston to see then-Gov Bush speak. 

- 2000 Presidential election.  I was in college, living with two wonderful roommates . . . who to this day like to remind me that I constantly watched C-SPAN during the election.  They thought if they made fun of me enough, they might not be subjected to politics all the time (no TV in my room).  Come to think of it — I didn’t see much of them that fall.  Maybe I just figured out why. 

So you see . . . this is why my blog is being ignored, left out, and forgotten.  McCain/Palin vs. Obama/Biden.  I will see you in November  . . . (well maybe I’ll try to write before then)

Some things are never okay

Just when I think I will be able to go back to some memory full spot and be okay, I’m reminded that there are some places that might never be just another hallway to me.  I realized the extent of my naivety last night.  A friend of mine was in the hospital having surgery (doing well, home today) last night so two of us went up there to sit with the family.  Of course, being at Covenant brings back memories of my mom being in the hospital, I knew that.  However, this isn’t my first time back so I thought it would be fine (apparently, I’m more of a idealist than I thought).  This time though we parked in the same garage as my brother and I did for five days before my mom died and walked the same path where my brother and I had many a conversation that I would rather forget.  Still doing okay though.  Once we find out where the waiting room is we head up to 2nd floor east.  My stomach dropped.  This is also SICU — where my mom spent four of the last five days of her life. 

As soon as I stepped out of the elevators I almost had to turn around and go back downstairs.  I quickly told myself that this visit wasn’t about me and I would not say another word about it.  My thoughts, however, did not stop.  It was as though I could see all our friends as they one by one went into SICU to tell my mom, their friend, good-bye.  It was there that I last talked to my mom, where she last said “I love you”, where she made sure her friends would take care of me. 

When I remember my mom I am grateful that I don’t usually remember her sick.  I remember her healthy and full of energy.  I remember how she used to put these hideously large bows in my hair because she had a little girl.  I remember how she hated wearing shoes and loved Texas Tech and how excited she would be for the new football season and for the new campaign they just announced.  I remember how she loved being a grandmother.  I choose to remember her healthy but last night I was slapped in the face with the memory of her last days.

legacy

I’ve talked before about how the last year has taught me to live life now.  I was reading a book on youth ministry and an excerpt in it again made me realize the impact our lives can have.  I don’t want to sound as though we should feel self important, because we shouldn’t.  What we have has been given is a gift and we should be good stewards of those gifts.  “For whom much is given, much is required”.  A lot of people think of this in terms of monetary value but I think it’s much more than that.

“. . . genealogies are in the Bible for a reason. There are dozens of names and ”begats’ in scriptures but have you ever stopped and considered why?  We find it hard to read a genealogy because it covers pages of names we don’t know . . . and because it’s not our family. However, Jesus probably saw the list in Luke 3 differently than we do.  He knew the story of Tamar’s struggles.  He could tell you about Rahab’s struggles.  He was very familiar with David’s faith.  He understood the godly legacy left to Him by these heroes of the faith.        . . . [Hebrews] knew that  their family and faith affected more than mom, dad, brother and sister.  More than here and now, faith affects generations.”

Deuteronomy talks very plainly about parents discipling their children and being living examples of their faith.  As I said at my mom’s funeral, she did that.  She lived her life in a way that glorified God constantly.  What a blessing for her children.  I don’t think I understood how blessed I was until I was talking to a friend about her childhood.  It was before my mom died but while she was sick and she said that I was so lucky because I grew up with Christian parents and a LEGACY of faith.  It was hard for her to imagine this long line of Christian men and women that I am able to call my relatives.   A grandfather, who I never knew, taught Sunday School in the same youth department that I now teach in.  I still don’t think I fully get it.  I do understand that to “whom is given, much is required”.  For some reason, God blessed me with a family legacy of Godly men and women — much is definitely required.  I hope that I don’t waste a day by not glorifying God in all I do.

Cancun

Cancun has come and gone. It was a great trip! I laid on the beach with five amazing people. We read, ate, worked out, walked down the beach, and just had a good time. It was relaxing and refreshing! One of my favorite moments was one night after we had walked down the beach and had an impromptu beach volleyball game. We sat on the beach chairs and got to know each other better. I loved it. I loved hearing the waves crash against the beach and talking with friends, getting to know them.

These are the moments that make life great. There are few things I like better than simply hanging out with friends, laughing and sharing life together. Whether it be on a beach in Mexico, in the mountains of Colorado, on the National Mall in D.C., at a lake house in Austin, or a BBQ in Lubbock — that is where I want to be.

amazing

It amazes me how people can have the best of intentions and yet they just don’t get it.  Of course, then I start wondering about the idiotic things that have potenially come out of my own mouth and that kind of makes me want to cring.  So I tell this story, knowing the person who said it didn’t mean it the way it sounded to my ears. 

First, a back story.  I have a friend and her five year old boy is always asking me if I have found a husband yet.  It’s really adorable — but really only because he’s five.  If anyone whose age reaches into double digits asked me that, they would be in danger of a one-two punch.  But from a  five year old, who looks for me a husband at the grocery store, it’s kind of cute and even sweet. 

So I’m telling a new friend of mine this story and she says “I know.  I have those friends who I think are great and I just don’t understand why guys don’t see that they are amazing”.  I know this is supposed to be a compliment but seriously?!?!  Who says that men don’t see me as amazing?  Just because I don’t check the married box on government documents doesn’t mean that I am deemed untouchable by the male race.  Did it occur to anyone that I might be single by choice?  That at one time I had the opportunity to get married but wanted to enjoy being single as I ventured into my twenties?  That perhaps I decided a long time ago I didn’t want to settle and few (there are some) people have come along that I would consider “not settling”?  Why is it that something must certainly be wrong with the single woman? 

I don’t mean to get on my soap box here but I’ve seen what a bad marriage looks like and I don’t want that.  I’m not saying that I don’t want a family of my own someday, I do.  The point is that I’m just fine with my single status — which, by the way, does not truly define who I am.  There are things I get to do now that will be hard, if not impossible, when I am married.  So I do them.  I want to enjoy my single life so that one day I will get to enjoy my married life, with no regrets. 

God has great plans for each of us — I believe that.  He knows His creation, how amazing is that?

(Cancun — here I come!!  I’ll be gone for a week but I’m sure I’ll have lots of stories and pictures when I get back!)

Denmark

I think I’ll move to Denmark. Why not? Apparently, it’s the happiest country on earth. The US ranks 16th (story here)

The article talks about the baby boomer generation being the main reason we are not in the top 10. It seems they are “generally miserable compared to other generations”. Whew. Maybe I can stay in the US after all, seeing as I’m not a part of the baby boom generation.

I have to wonder what questions were asked in this survey, I’m sure it was very scientific. What makes people happy? What do people in Denmark do that make them “happier”? And more to the point, are they really happy? Or have they filled their lives with so much “stuff” they think they are happy? Maybe they really are happy. All those people, all around the world are happy but are they joyful?

That’s what I want. I want to be joyful. I know there are going to be days that I just don’t feel happy (a great example). No matter how I feel, emotionally, I want to be joyous. Joyous in my Savior, who loves me and who I love getting to know better each day. I love the mystery and I want to rejoice in that — to be joyous in that! I want to not feel sad when I’m left out of things or when I get my feelings hurt. I don’t want to allow people to hurt my feelings, I want to be joyous based on the things in my life that matter. I love my family (even when I’m frustrated) and I have the most amazing group of friends from California to DC and right in my own backyard (KOINONIA baby!). These are the things in life that matter, not the things that I let get to me.

Living Life

It’s seems to be a constant theme today.  When themes keep popping up in my life I’ve learned to pay attention to them. Often, someone (God mostly ) is trying to get my attention.

I saw one of the worst movies today, Wanted, don’t see it.  I’ll tell you the only good part of it here — don’t waste your life.  Live life with passion, fervor, and do what you were created to do.  And you know what — it doesn’t really matter what those around you think.  You may feel like it does, I do.  I get my feelings hurt and I let it affect me.  That’s giving other people too much control over my life, a life that’s not really even mine.  However, that is not what this post is about.  It’s about not living for people but living for God.  He’s my audience.

I’ve also been reading a few books this summer.  One is Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper.  I really don’t want to waste my life.  And we don’t know how long our life here on this earth is going to last.  So I have to make every moment count.  How do I do that?  I’ve asked that question a lot in my life.  The answer I’ve come up with is that to live every moment for God is only way to not waste it. And to find that thing that he has created us for and to do it well.

Here’s to living life abundantly, throwing caution (or what people think) to the wind, and being passionate about what God created us to do!