when i was a little girl i pretended that the railroad ties my dad used to line the flowerbeds with were balance beams and i would – unsuccessfully – try to preform tricks on them. anyone who knows me well know that i struggle to stay upright. they don’t give the “most likely to wear holes in the knees of her windpants” award to just anyone on the tennis team … every. year. over the years i have developed skills at catching myself before falling. but still. balance is a struggle. in real and in figurative terms.
each day is a struggle. i’m better at it than i was 7 years ago, but i hope that 7 years from now i will be even better still. when i first started thinking about creating balance in my life, it was about what i physically had in my planner. but more and more, it is about the mental space in my head. do i have the capacity to take certain things on? what would i need to let go of to create more space – both physically and mentally. how can i use the time that God has given me – has given us – in such a way that that time will be given back in other ways. i suppose it comes down to trust. do i trust that God will not call me to do something that he won’t also equip me to do. i believe he will. i believe God will equip us – with time, mental space, and desire.
i have swung the pendulum on balance back and forth in my life. too much focus on career, too much focus on “a life” – where is the somewhere in between? that is what i seek to find – the in-between, the balance.